Fulfilling expectations

We expect the sun to shine in summer and we expect the moon to come out at night because that's the way it always tends to happen, until the unexpected happens, an eclipse.  We then become surprise as it messes up our normal routine or way of seeing things; our expectation is forced to change.
Such is life when we try to live up to the expectations of others. Because we always feel we must keep it up, so we find ourselves feeling drained, exhausted and finding it hard to run off the little fuel we have left to just be ourselves.

Expectations are not always bad at times, it can be good especially when we and others may have high expectations of us but then we can see that they can be unhealthy when it becomes a bar too high to reach, because we then realise either it was never our character and more about what others were trying to project on us.

Perhaps like myself you're the sort of person who always is strong for everyone, never seen shedding a tear, so automatically everyone expects you to ‘always’ be strong. However, there comes the times when you are weak, you notice you can't be strong for everyone anymore because you too need that comfort. You don't want to let yourself or others down so instead you melt down inside and become deflated.

But don’t you worry, once again in my experience here are some encouragements and a few lessons I learnt and still learning along the way:

Remember Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane the Son of God was weak and prayed for His disciples to help Him pray in His final hours. If Jesus God's own Son was weak then surely we also can be too. He could have tried to pretend He was strong as He walked on water raised the dead surely He was expected to be strong always right? But we can learn a few lessons from that too.

1) It’s okay to say no.

2) It’s okay to ask for help.
3) I’m better help to others when I'm healthy and strong than if I am weak.
4) I can use my testimony of being able to overcome to strengthen others.
5) What truly matters is what God thinks of me.
6) I don't have to prove anything to anyone.

7) I accept me.

8) Check point – Who am I really listening too.

9) What are my own values and expectations?

10) Is what people expecting of me realistic.

In addition to the above, why not just be honest with the people around you and let them know how you really feel. After all if the people around you are really your friends, then they should understand. Sometimes we fear offending them because we love them or even fear losing them. However, your true friends are those who love you despite your weaknesses. Jesus's true disciples and followers were those who stuck with Him till the end in His last hour of weakness both Peter and Judas betrayed Him. His friends who He was strong for weren't strong for Him when he needed them most. Makes you think right?

One reassurance we can rely on is this FACT - Jesus is one of the truest friends we can reply on at all times, he even said in: 1 Peter 5:7 “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.”

He also said, which is one of the verse we love here at BFM is that “You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14) and it’s very good to know that this is something you don't have to expect to be, because you already are, so embrace it!

“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” Galatians 1:10 KJV

To conclude watch who’s expectation you are looking towards. Seek to make your own balanced expectations and Gods rather than men’s, because with men they may have good intentions to better you and that you can take on board, but for some it is to destroy or harm you. Think before you make any actions, don’t try to be what you are not, if anything be determine to be the BEST you that you can be and start to expect great things in life rather than negativity, bad company or bad outcomes.

You can change your perspectives around for the best/good and in doing so you will see all the healthy expectations being met and meeting your needs.

#SpeakLife

By: Rachel Obozua - BFM Co-Leader

(Edited by Faith Dore)

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