'Let It Go'
What I'm I talking about? Past hurts, pains, shame, guilt, clothes/materialistic things, unhealthy relationships or even spoken words.
Letting something go is like saying goodbye to a place, a city that you know you will not return to, and I really believe that we should and must do that especially with the past hurts or even present pain we may be feeling today.
We sometimes ask ourselves, Why are we still hurting? Why are we not over our ex/s? or Why is a certain guilt still being held over our heads? The truth is this, we are giving more power and authority to the negative attitude than the positive one of moving forward, which not only drags us down, but allows the enemy more ammunition to play with our minds, and to also get into our deep thoughts, so before we know it, we then start to ask questions such as some or even more of the ones listed above.
The hurts we faced, the pain we experienced, the nights of trauma or the tears that have fallen time and time again, needs to only be looked upon with the mindset of: 'despite going through these crazy times', I am actually able to see the hurt, acknowledge the pain and walk into my future determined for that thing, person or circumstance not to happen again. And if it happens to repeat itself, I will be prepared, because I am stronger, wiser and smarter now than I was before.
So on that note, here are my 7 steps for letting go:
Step 1: Close your eyes and just Breathe.
Sometimes all we need to do is take a moment to stop crying, stop feeling angry at others and ourselves and just take a moment to close our eyes and breathe. Point blank!
Breathing like this, will allow you to refresh your mind and gather your thoughts (hopefully in a logical non emotional way).
Step 2: See and acknowledge your pain/hurt etc.
Sometimes we can avoid wanting to see our own faults that may have lead to our over spending, controlling relationships or even not wanting to see the abusive behaviour our random partner might have portrayed or specific family member had said, Why? Because we where facing the state of mind at the time of 'being in love' , denial or just being too overwhelmed.
As much as it might hurt to do so, you need to expose the hurt, the wrong, the shame, for you to have your victory & to move forward. You may feel like exposing this to others or just coming to terms with everything by yourself. But be prepared it is not always easy.
Step 3: Be determined to recover.
Firstly you have to have the motivation to want to get over what ever you need getting over off: Bad trip, over spending, Case of the Ex, Being mistreated etc.
Sometimes as crazy as it may sound, when I used to think about all the bad ways I was treated in my pass relationships it gave me a nice boost to just not want to go back, but to move on from my ex.
When I felt I lost my worth and was starting to over question myself, rather than trusting what God said about me, this also gave me another extra nice boost to carry on & not listen to the things that was previously said to me.
So if it helps, think about something that might give you the extra motivation or boost to move on. I remember when my cousin once said to me about relationships; You can't bring the mess or 'hold of another relationship' into a new relationship, it just wouldn't be fair on your new partner & family <---- This for me, made a lot of sense, its like a light bulb switched on in my thoughts and from that evening forward & beyond I decided to start letting go with other additional steps to help, such as cutting off any ties (friendships, telephone numbers, gifts etc).
Step 4: Get positive loyal support
Having people around who do not have your best interest in heart can be the worst type of medicine for your soul. Bad minded people can be poison and that you can do without, especially when you are not feeling 100% secure about yourself or circumstances.
Choose to be around those who are willing to listen, to advice and also to correct you out of love. You need people who will be real with you, who are able to tell you where you may have made a mistake or ways you need to 'fix up' with good examples of how things can change for good in your life.
Get some good & positive self help books to read like TD Jakes: Reposition yourself, Joyce Meyer: Never Give Up. Reading books like this is great, as I have experienced that it provides you with a clearer perspective and reaches deep into areas that you didn't think about before.
Step 5: Let it go and give God the control.
Be really focused on letting your situation go. Giving God the control, takes the control of you, so that you don't have to worry about calling your ex back numerous of times, sending unnecessary messages, buying 3 pair of jeans when you already got 6 new pairs at home.
Giving God the control is almost like saying, God you take the wheel because I keep crashing this car of my life, I need you to teach me how to drive it again in the right way, please help. And before you know it I believe you will be driving smoothly. You might meet stop signs, passengers crossing your path or even bumps in the road, but you will be sure to know that you will not crash again.
Step 6: Leave everything you faced or is facing in God's hands.
Step 5 states Let it go and give God the control. There is nothing worst than being determined to let things go with an unsure mind, just because the healing process took longer than you thought or hoped for or simply you became impatient. So as a result you choose to go back through the hurt, pain, guilt and shame and now you become and feel worst of than what you where originally.
Please don't get me wrong, I totally understand how things could be, especially with having to reply certain things to get over them.
Neither is the healing process or victory walk as simple as I am saying it. But you will not be doing yourself any good by taking back that heavy burden and carrying it all alone.
Really and truly you need to cast it upon God (1 Peter 5:7). He is willing to take the load, it will be ok, keep taking your step, for each step counts more than you'll ever know, so LEAVE it in His capable hands, God's got you covered.
Step 7: Keep on Moving on.
At this point there is truly no reason for you to look back, there will be some points in your life were you will be able to do so, but this will only be to smile again knowing that you have won the victory, your bills have been sorted, all debt is paid or is on its way to being paid, your totally over your ex and have a clearer vision of your worth and identity, but most of all You choose to be FREE.
Life can always come across as very challenging, but in all these challenges we can choose to either let it develop and train us or defeat us and get us down. The decisions will always be your own to make no matter who gives you advice.
As for me, I personally choose to live this life to the fullest, not allowing my past hurt, guilts, insecurities or fear hold me back from becoming the best lady I can be. I only hope that you feel the same way too.
God is Love and He Loves you.
Keep Being Beautiful
By: Faith Dore
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